Macintosh Jokes  

Yes, in the 80's Macs were generally better than PCs.  Just like 8-track tapes were originally better than cassettes, and horses could go faster than the first automobiles, and writing on animal skin was better than using paper.  Need I go on, or is the point sufficiently clear?

Source: Chia's Macbashing Page

Tera Capital fund manager Duncan Stewart: "The problem is Apple was priced like it was a tech company and it isn't... It essentially makes relatively high-priced, semiconducter-driven washing machines... Any company whose quarterly earnings are determined by what colour of fruit their next PC comes out in is not a tech company. It's in the fashion business." - Globe & Mail, September 30, 2000: "Investors pummel Apple stock"

Mac Jokes

Q: What is a monumental improvement for an IMac?

A: A new shade of orange.

Q: Where is Macintosh headquarters located?

A: City Landfill.

Q: What do you call a Mac laptop?

A: A Gameboy.

Q: Why are Macs made of plastic?

A: The $4000 price tag would have to be raised to $5000 if they were made of metal.

Q: What is the difference between a chunk of wood and a Mac?

A: A chunk of wood floats.

Q: How do you confuse a Mac?

A: Type something.

Q: Why would someone clone a Mac?

A: Hey, people keep trying to clone dinosaurs!

Q: How many Macs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Insufficient Memory to complete operation.

Q: Why will Macs one day be very valuable?

A: Worthless antiques are always in high demand.

Q: How is a Mac like a zebra?

A: Neither one belongs in the office.

Q: Why is a typewriter better than a Mac?

A: More font options.

Q: What company makes the Macintosh monitors?

A: Etch-A-Sketch.

Top Ten Uses for an IMac

10. Paperweight

9: Dumbbell

8: Gravity Demonstrations

7: Target Practice

6: Litter Box

5: Mice make good doggie chew toys

4: Kindling

3: Shotput practice

2: Scratching post

1: Door stop

Top 10 Reasons that Macintosh is still better than the PC

10: The icon for the Mac Operating System looks happier than the PC Windows 98 logo

9: Gives the user more of a challenge, hence making the project more fun

8: Frequent crashes make users more responsible with their time

7: Lack of feedback in the operating system teaches children the virtue of patience

6: Operating system too simple to be damaged by a virus

5: "Macintosh" takes less time to say than "IBM & Compatible Systems"

4: Reduction of stress in one's life by slowing down

3: The one-button mouse is sooo much simpler than the PC's two button mouse.

2: The higher price gets rid of the computer user riff-raff

1: The Apple icon reminds users to eat healthy

Martha Stewart's Top Ten Uses for a Mac

10: A wonderful coffee table conversational piece

9: Creative jello mold

8: Great for holding salads

7: Screen makes great glass butter dish

6: Convert into flower vase. Disk drive makes convenient watering hole

5: Ash tray

4: Take out screen, leave power on, and use for rising bread

3: Leave in window. Frightens off potential computer thieves

2: Can be used to store recipes, provided that they aren't more than three lines long.

1: Add class to your home by making people think you own a computer

And for nostalgia, the Mac hater's theme song (1995)

(to the tune of 'Jingle Bells')

Jingle bells, Macs are hell, failures every day!
Oh what fun it is to type on monitors of gray!
Jingle bells, Macs are hell, failures every day!
Oh what fun it is to make fun of them every way!

Dashing through the net, at 300 baud
Over the waves we go, desktop is a mess! (ha ha ha)
There's the failure ding, we must be in school
Oh my gosh, this 10 meg drive sure makes me want to drool! (Refrain)

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